I'm still here – a (re)introduction

Who I am in bullet-point form.

“I have done nothing all summer but wait for myself to be myself again.”

Georgia O’Keefe

After a whirlwind of a summer, I’ve made it out on the other side. I’m alive! We made it!

I love my kids and all the fun we got to have this summer but there was no in-between — it was either full-on rallying energy or complete collapse most every day. I’m finally getting some space to breathe this fall and wondering whatever happened to my sense of self for the past few months. 

I’m reintroducing myself to myself and to you after all this time.

I’m still here. 

I’m still, here

A couple weeks ago, I posed this question on Threads:

Surprisingly, I got a lot of responses from people I admire who I would guess have their “elevator speech” down pat. I also felt the best kind of validation that online spaces can offer in that 1.) It makes sense to wrestle with these things and 2.) It takes time to, as Kayla Craig told me, “distill the essence of our vocation.”

Any sort of “bio” has always overwhelmed me. Even in my most evangelical-y days, the thought of sharing my “testimony” put me on edge. Not because I wasn’t willing to share, but because of how much I’d psych myself out about seeing the through-lines in my own story. 

What am I missing? What if I’m misunderstood? What parts do I leave out? What needs to be included?

So, with an awareness that we can’t ever fully understand anyone’s life and essence to a few sentences, here are some parts worth knowing about me (sorry if that was too Enneagram 4 for you 😏🤪):

• I’m Liv Holloway, a creator of words and worlds of welcome — I write and I do events work with an emphasis on radical hospitality. I love making space for what’s real and raw and relatable. 

• I live in Minneapolis, MN, a city and area I fell in love with over the past decade or so and never want to leave if I can help it! The twin cities are brimming and bursting with art and music and water and movement, beautiful people and places that continually amaze me. We have collectively been through and led through a lot and I’m very proud to be part of this city. 

• I just celebrated an entire decade being married to Z – we were married #straightouttachristiancollege and have weathered a lot of change and growth together. Wouldn’t have it any other way. Our love and faith and very selves have evolved and expanded in so many ways, including bringing two amazing little humans into the world!

• Z and I both belonged and were heavily involved in a well-known Reformed church and related church plant for several years before becoming parents. We spent most of our twenties confined by what defined these hyper-conservative, limiting spaces that elevated the voices of men in power and diminished the voices (and even presence) of women. We were deeply committed AND deeply strained as we butted up against these theological teachings and implications. We made the painful but incredibly necessary decision to transition away from those places altogether in the summer of 2020.

• 2020 changed everything for me and for us. COVID, George Floyd being killed in my city, limping out of our church unsure if we’d ever return to another one. Z and I both had to unwind a lot from a lot that year. 

• Around that time, I started embracing my own call to the deep end of life, writing as vocation and not just words on a page for my own processing all the time. The pivot was ripe to be sparked by Anne Lamott’s Bird By Bird and Parker J Palmer’s Let Your Life Speak, among other things.

• I worked in Christian higher education for almost a decade, ranging from recruitment to development to overseeing New Student Orientation and events.  I graduated with my Masters in Higher Ed in 2019, with dreams I would help lead new initiatives to care for incoming students well. For many reasons and in many ways, I experienced significant barriers and could not stay at the institution I was a part of. I’m forever grateful I had the courage to get out.

• Since leaving higher ed in 2022, I have been searching and sorting out what kind of work and things I want to be part of in the world. Along the way, I have gotten to work with and alongside some incredible people and organizations I still can’t get over – Jo Saxton, Sarah Bessey and the Evolving Faith team, Rachel Marie Kang and The Fallow House team, Stephen Roach and The Breath and the Clay event, Sara Groves at Art House North here in the twin cities, and more! The work ranged from copywriting/editing, graphic design, communications, and event management. Although each project or event has been temporary, every experience and connection in/within it all has been a lasting gift.

• I was diagnosed with an autoimmune condition called Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis in 2023, after a very long and arduous journey of postpartum complications since my second-born. It took my body screaming at me to pay attention, and it’s been a lot of hard (but necessary) work to manage pain, alleviate depression and anxiety, heal trauma, and generally live a life.

• I’m still in the thick of raising little humans, vacillating between all I want to do/be with how life actually is (i.e. limited capacity/energy/time). I would love to keep writing, sharing, and hopefully even speaking at a pace that is supportive for where I’m at right now.

What’s always been true about me:

• A creative, contemplative soul who feels and thinks deeply and loves good music and art along those lines

• A restorative bent, always finding ways to be/do better (and that goes for things I work for/with, too)

• An affinity for stupid humor and knack for “little comments” (CC: the office)

• A love for genuine and authentic connection with others 

What’s more new:

• What I’m calling an “unwinding” from a faith and way that diminished and destroyed me (and many others), finding the pieces that still hold true and disregarding the BS

• Generally interested in and open to so many people and viewpoints, not threatened or scared of difference but genuinely curious

• More in tune with listening to my body, a concept I once thought of as a “slippery slope” in the past (see previous faith communities and contexts), honoring my own capacities and utilizing resources to support myself

Etc. etc. etc. In the words of the poet Walt Whitman, “I contain multitudes.”

So do you!

In other news…

Earlier this year, I got to share my first attempt at a Spoken Word piece at Art House North’s Show & Tell event. This one is related to my own sense of self and how I’ve wrestled with being both “strong” and needing support. I just recently shared a reel on Instagram but wanted to share the words below with you, too:

Strong & Seen

what might it mean
to be equal parts strong and seen
to be able to make it happen
but not make it hard

like I don’t have to
hold it together
(and when I do
I have somewhere to fall)
                                   – holding it TOGETHER – get it?
to be able to
know your own capability
alongside your capacity
and honor both

you don’t have to do it alone

you know that, right?
but sometimes
there are still things you need to do
on your own
                                     so
how can we be
equal parts strong and seen
tender and able, supported and stable
or anywhere in between

like balancing, “I can do this,” 
with “I can’t today.” 
holding space
to need more help
without shame

like the swell of a wave
able to crash through
and into what it needs to
then pull it back
soft and relaxed
held by the body
it belongs to. 

Things to pay attention to:

• I get to help put on a gathering called The Guild out in Raleigh, NC at the end of this month. This is an event specifically for nurturing Christian creatives featuring really amazing artists like Andy Squyres, Jess Ray, Sharlene Provilus, and more. I’m excited to be out there and get to experience it real-time!

• This episode The Lazy Genius podcast – all about “compassionate time management,” and I needed to hear every word.

• Author Shannon K. Evans’ books Rewilding Motherhood and her new release, The Mystics Would Like a Word. I wasn’t familiar with her work before but was completely taken by her take on mothering and being Mothered. A reimagining of self and God that fully integrates the more mundane and difficult with the transcendent, painting a more compelling picture of how to BE feminine amidst/beyond the milieu of confusing expectations or BS we’ve internalized otherwise.

• The artist Medium Build. I can’t stop listening to his stuff these days. Real and raw, at times nostalgic, super good music.

• If you are local to the twin cities, Ezer Collective is coming back around. You’ve likely heard me talk about it before and I always believe it’s a worthwhile investment into yourself as a woman with influence anywhere in the world. Plus, its theme is on Leadership and Power a mere days after the election ;)

• Speaking of, getting registered and being prepared to vote for yourself in a few weeks. And for our daughters.

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As always, I appreciate you being here and reading along. I hope to find some more ways to reflect and connect in the coming months, so stay tuned! In the meantime, some questions for connections:

How might you reintroduce yourself to who you are right now, without judgment?

What is still true of who you have always been, and what’s newer?

How would you describe your own self and work in a few bullet points?

Much love,

Liv